You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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