there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
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couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
True college students do jello shots in the library
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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