I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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