ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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