Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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