All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize