My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
