So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
