Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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