would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.