and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.