ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Can you bring me the toilet please
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
