just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
