I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
