Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
