The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
