I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
