I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
