nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Is it penis luge time yet?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
