butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
