make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
