So drunk, too bad you don't want this
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
