so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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