How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize