i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
