it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
