Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
