That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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