i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
