a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
