I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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