im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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