I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
