Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
