I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize