We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
