Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This is the high leading the old right now
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
