Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize