BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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