her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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