I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
