I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize