U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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