STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
