So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize