you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
