It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
