i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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