Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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