Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
