Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
