I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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