Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
