Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
