garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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