I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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