Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
