so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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