Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
