Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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