people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
