Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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