2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
